If you utter what is precious....

Jeremiah 15:19  Therefore thus says the Lord:“If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them.

Obscure verse. Not one I'd naturally turn to or latch onto. But one that was really...pointed out to me... by my Heavenly Father some time back. I've thought a lot about what it means to "utter what is precious" instead of what is worthless. I'm coming to realize a lot of the things I think are so important to get across to people are actually mighty worthless.

What is precious then? The words the Spirit whispers to me: through His Word, through times of quiet when my heart looks up to Him in expectancy, and (more often the case with me) in times of heartbreak and noise and chaos, when that same heart can barely choke out a "Jesus, help me!"

I can hardly ever tell before I speak whether or not something I'm about to say is truly precious. But sometimes I can tell afterwords. When it accompanies grace. A breakthrough that takes a burden off a persons shoulders. The sense that the Father is pleased. A lightness of heart that feels like a spring breeze in my spirit...

I wish I could say I experience that more often than I do. But the truth is, I need to repent of a lot of worthless words I've spoken over the past few weeks. Spoken out of exhaustion and self-preservation and pride. Words that take others down for my supposed benefit.

I so long to utter what is precious. I long to be unafraid if what is truly precious sounds silly, or childish, or too simple, or too...human.

Here's one "precious" moment: I was talking to a friend tonight and heard myself saying; "I love these girls more than any other person in the world." And as I said it, I realized how true it was. And how okay it was for it to be true. In the past I've felt hesitant about love. Afraid of loving too much. Or, more honestly, afraid that what I was calling love was really far from it. Even though a mothers love is FAR from the perfect love the Father has for me, it was meant to be a faint reflection. And when it mirrors the light of His love as it was meant to, it is....precious. Speaking of those two not-so-little gifts, here's some pics of them from a few weeks back....

 I'm so thankful that in the midst of being really exhausted right now, that I get to spend these days in the  presence of a Father who loves me more than I love these two precious souls. I know He is closer than I can feel. (Thankfully don't have to trust how I feel as mostly I've just felt utterly spent and a little bit like crying these past few weeks). Please continue to pray for little AvaGray. Her recovery from this last surgery has been longer and slower than the ones before it. Aching for her a lot (nothing urgent or serious at the moment, but just don't like to see this little one struggle), even as I stand on the bedrock of hope that is Jesus. For all of you praying for us (in Colombia, Peru, PNG, Australia, US & elsewhere), thank you. Your prayers for us are....precious.

Till next time!